Gargling

Is it called "gargling" or "gurgling"?  Apparently, says the Internet, it is "gargling."  What a fancy name.  I "gargle" salt water.  I don't "gurgle" it or "gaggle" it or "giggle" it.  Or even "google" it, though I can.  I CAN!  But what else is there to gargle?  Certainly not rubber hoses.  Probably not ice cubes, either.  So it's useless.  Unless gargling can get me a woman, pay my rent, and make Stove Top, I'm not falling for it.  The last time that happened, it was terrible.  I still have nightmares about the slinky falling on top of me.  It was so...wiry.  Don't laugh!  I've already heard it a thousand times.  A thousand times, I say!!  Leave it to NASA to figure how a walrus ties knots in his tail hairs.  So next time you want to gargle something, stop yourself.  Is it really worth it?  I mean, really worth it all?  You've got a lotta years ahead of you.  You can probably still fight the short man that lives around the corner.  Maybe you can't parallel park, but hey, who can?  Take it in stride, honey, take it in stride.  Uncle Ross knew a thing or two about life, and he would always tell me, "Don't let the train tracks tell you where to go, 'cause after all, you ain't no train."  That's a truism if I've ever heard one, but still true. Take it or leave it, but don't go home without it.

ZF